Lucy Mack Smith, History, 1844–1845

  • Source Note
  • Historical Introduction
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nothing for a long while <untill I left the house> <I was there> but Oh is coming run build a fire make the room warm help her in fill the tea kettle Get the great arm chair etc &c <I then> their excessive anxiety as for my physical conveiniance not being tempered with one word of pertaining to Christ or Godliness sickened and disgusted me and I went home disapointed and sorrowful In the anxiety of my soul to abide by the covenant I which I had entered into with the almighty I went from place to place to seek information or find if possible some congenial spirit who might enter into my feelings and sympathize with me at last I heard that one noted for his piety would would preach the ensuing Sabbath in the presbyterian chair church thither also I went in expectation of obtaining that which alone could satisfy my soul the bread of eternal life when the minister I commenced I fixed my mind with br[e]athless attention upon the spirit and matter of the discourse but all was emptiness vanity vexation of spirit and palled upon my heart like the chill night air <untimely blast upon the starting blade ear that else had ripened in a summer sun> upon on the feverish brow of the youthful warrior but it did not fill the aching void within nor satisfy the craving hunger of the soul I was almost in total despair and with a load of grief greaved and troubled spirit I returned saying in my heart there is not on Earth the religion which I seek I must again turn to my bible and take<ing> the Jesus and his deciples for an ensample I will try to obtain from God that which man cannot give nor take away And thus I said in my heart I will settle myself down to this I will hear all that can be said read all that is writen but particularly the [p. [5], bk. 2]
nothing untill I left the house but Oh is coming run build a fire make the room warm help her in fill the tea kettle Get the great arm chair etc &c their excessive anxiety for my physical conveiniance not being tempered with one word pertaining to Christ or Godliness sickened and disgusted me and I went home disapointed and sorrowful In the anxiety of my soul to abide by the covenant which I had entered into with the almighty I went from place to place to seek information or find if possible some congenial spirit who might enter into my feelings and sympathize with me at last I heard that one noted for his piety would preach the ensuing Sabbath in the presbyterian church thither also I went in expectation of obtaining that which alone could satisfy my soul the bread of eternal life when the minister commenced I fixed my mind with breathless attention upon the spirit and matter of the discourse but all was emptiness vanity vexation of spirit and palled upon my heart like the chill night air untimely blast upon the starting ear that else had ripened in a summer sun on the feverish brow of the youthful warrior it did not fill the aching void within nor satisfy the craving hunger of the soul I was almost in total despair and with a greaved and troubled spirit I returned saying in my heart there is not on Earth the religion which I seek I must again turn to my bible takeing Jesus and his deciples for an ensample I will try to obtain from God that which man cannot give nor take away And thus I said in my heart I will settle myself down to this I will hear all that can be said read all that is writen but particularly the [p. [5], bk. 2]
Page [5], bk. 2