Letter to Sidney Rigdon, 27 March 1843

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March 27, 1843
Esqr.
Dear Sir,
It is with sensations of deep regret and poignant grief that I sit down to dictate a few lines to you, this morning, to let you know what my feelings in are in relation to your-self, as it is against my principles to act the part of a hypocrite, or to dissemble in any wise whatever, with any man. I have tried for a long time to smother my feelings, and not let you know, that I thought, that you were secretly and underhandedly, doing all you could, to take the advantage and injure me: but, whether my feelings are right or wrong, remains for Eternity to reveal. I cannot any longer forbear throwing of[f] the mask, and let you know of the secret wranglings of my heart; that you may not be deceivd, in relation to them, and <​that you may​> be prepared, Sir, to take whatever cou[r]se you see proper in the premises. I am, Sir, honest, when I say that I believe, I <​am​> laboring under the fullest conviction that you are actually practicing deception and wickedness again[s]t me, and the chu[r]ch of Jesus Chri[s]t of Latter Day Saints. and that [p. [1]] you are in connection with , & , in the whole of their abominble practices in seeking to destroy me and this people and that , is as deep, Sir, in the mud mire, as you<​, Sir,​> are in the mud mire, in your conspiracies, and that you are in the exerciese of a Traitrous spirit aga[ins]t our lives and interest by combining with our Enemies and the murderous Missourians, my feelings, Sir, have been wrought upon to a very great extent, in relation to yourself, ever since soon after the first appearance of in this place, there has been somethig dark & my[s]terious hovering over our business concerns that are not only palpablle but altogether unacco[u]ntable in relation to the Post office, and Sir from the very first of the pretentions of , to secure to me the Post Office, (which, by the by I have <​never​> desired, if I could have justice done me in that department,) <​without my occupancy​> I have known, Sir, that it was a fraud practiced upon me, and of the secret plottings & conniving between, him & yourself in relation to the matter the whole time, as well as many other things which I have kept locked up in my own bosom but I am constrained at this time, to make [p. [2]] known my feelings to you. I do not write this with the intention of insulting you or of bearing down upon you or with a desire to take any advantage of you or with the intention of ever laying one straw in your way, detrimental to your character or influence, or to suffer any thing whatever that has taken place, which is within my observati[o]n, or that <​has​> come to my knowleidge to go abroad, betraying any confidence that has ever been placed in me but I do assure you most sincerly that what I have said I verily beleive. & this is the reason why I have said it, that you may know the real convictions of my heart. not be[c]ause I have any malice or hatred, neither would I injure one hair of your head, and I will assure you that these convictions are attended with the deepest sorrow & remorse. I wish to God it were not so, & that I could get rid of the achings of my heart on that subject, and I now notify you, that unless something should take place to restore my mind to its former confidence in you, by some acknowledgmets on your part. or some explanations, that shall do away my Jealousies, I must as a conscientius man publish my withdrawal of your my fellowship from you, to the Church, thr[o]ugh the medium of the times & Seasons, and demand of the confernce a hearing concerning your case; that if, on conviction of Justifiable grou[n]ds, they will [p. [3]] demand your license. I could say much more but let the above suffice for the pre[se]nt,
yours in haste,
Joseph Smith.—
Esqr.
Post Office
[p. [4]]