Lucy Mack Smith, History, 1844–1845

  • Source Note
  • Historical Introduction
Page [6], bk. 9
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when (a few years afterwards) I found myself at <​on​> the very verge of the [e]ternal world and although I had an intense desire to for salvation yet I was totally devoid of any satisfactory Knowledge or understanding of the Laws or requ[i]rements of that being the before whom I expected shortly to appear but I labored faithfully in prayer to God struggling to be freed from the power of death. When I recovered I saught unceasingly for some one to who could impart to my my some deffinite Idea of the requ[i]rements of Heaven with regard to mankind but like Esau seeking his blessing— I found them not. though I saught the same with tears— In this for year for days and months and years I continued asking God continually to reveal to me the hidden treasures of his will; but although I was always [s]trengthened from time still I did not receive a direct to my prayers for the space 20 21 years I had always beleived confidently that God would a some time raise up some one who would be able to effect a reconciliation among those who desired to do his will at the expense of all things else— But what was my joy and astonishment to hear my own son though a boy of 14 <​years of age​> declare that he had been visited by an angel from Heaven and even nor at the time as I took a retrospective glance at former years when my mind rested upon the hours of deep delight with I had sat in the midst my chidren my oldest son by my side which I had spent <​in​> listening to the instructions which Joseph had received and <​which he faithfully​> committed to us a <​which​> we received with infinite delight but none were more engaged than the one whom we were doomed part with for was never so happy as when he was contemplating the final sucess of his brother in obtaining the record: And now I fancied I could hear him with his parting breath conjureing his brother to continue faithful that he might obtain the prize which the Lord had promised him ever The But when cast in my mind on the disapointment and trouble [p. [6], bk. 9]
when (a few years afterwards) I found myself on the very verge of the [e]ternal world and although I had an intense desire for salvation yet I was totally devoid of any satisfactory Knowledge or understanding of the Laws or requirements of that being before whom I expected shortly to appear but I labored faithfully in prayer to God struggling to be freed from the power of death. When I recovered I saught unceasingly for some one who could impart to my my some deffinite Idea of the requirements of Heaven with regard to mankind but like Esau seeking his blessing— I found them not. though I saught the same with tears— for days and months and years I continued asking God continually to reveal to me the hidden treasures of his will; although I was always strengthened from time still I did not receive a direct to my prayers for the space 21 years I had always beleived confidently that God would raise up some one who would be able to effect a reconciliation among those who desired to do his will at the expense of all things else— But what was my joy and astonishment to hear my own son though a boy of 14 years of age declare that he had been visited by an angel from Heaven even at the time as I took a retrospective glance at former years when my mind rested upon the hours which I had spent in listening to the instructions which Joseph had received and which he faithfully committed to us which we received with infinite delight but none were more engaged than the one whom we were doomed part with for was never so happy as when he was contemplating the final sucess of his brother in obtaining the record: And now I fancied I could hear him with his parting breath conjureing his brother to continue faithful that he might obtain the prize which the Lord had promised him But when cast in my mind on the disapointment and trouble [p. [6], bk. 9]
Page [6], bk. 9