Lucy Mack Smith, History, 1845

  • Source Note
  • Historical Introduction
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my constitution with serious injury, and they hoped, that, to accompany my brother home, it might serve to divert my mind; and thus prove a benefit to me; for I was pensive and melancholy, and often in my reflections thought, that life was not worth possessing. In the midst of this anxiety of mind I determined to obtain that which I had heard spoken so much of from the pulpit: a change of heart. To accomplish this, I spent much of time my time in reading the Bible and praying. But, notwithstanding my great anxiety to experience a change of heart, another matter would always interpose in all my meditations: if I remain as I am (a member of no church) all religious people will say, I am of the world; and, if I join some one of the different denominations, all of the rest will say I am in an error. No church will admit that I am right, except the one with which I am associated; and this makes them witnesses against each other; and how can I decide in such a case as this, seeing they are all unlike the church of Christ, as it existed in former days?
While I remained at Tunbridge, I became acquainted with a young man by the name of ; (to whom I was subsequently married). I continued with my brother one year, then went home: I was at home but a short time. when my brother came after me again, and insisted so hard upon my returning with him, that I concluded to do so; and <​this time​> I remained with him until I was married; which took place the next January. [p. 28]
my constitution with serious injury, and they hoped, that, to accompany my brother home, it might serve to divert my mind; and thus prove a benefit to me; for I was pensive and melancholy, and often in my reflections thought, that life was not worth possessing. In the midst of this anxiety of mind I determined to obtain that which I had heard spoken so much of from the pulpit: a change of heart. To accomplish this, I spent much of my time in reading the Bible and praying. But, notwithstanding my great anxiety to experience a change of heart, another matter would always interpose in all my meditations: if I remain as I am (a member of no church) all religious people will say, I am of the world; and, if I join some one of the different denominations, all of the rest will say I am in an error. No church will admit that I am right, except the one with which I am associated; and this makes them witnesses against each other; and how can I decide in such a case as this, seeing they are all unlike the church of Christ, as it existed in former days?
While I remained at Tunbridge, I became acquainted with a young man by the name of ; (to whom I was subsequently married). I continued with my brother one year, then went home: I was at home but a short time. when my brother came after me again, and insisted so hard upon my returning with him, that I concluded to do so; and this time I remained with him until I was married; which took place the next January. [p. 28]
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