History, 1834–1836

  • Source Note
  • Historical Introduction
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this they throw me into the hands of the church, and leave me where I was before I was chosen among the twelve.
Then I would not be in a situation to bring so much disgrace upon the casuse [cause], when I fell into temptations. And perhaps by this means I might obtain salvation. You know dear brother my passions and the danger of falling from so high a station: And therefore I chose to withdraw from the office of the Apostleship, while there is salvation for me, and remain a member in the church. I feel afraid if I do not, it will be worse for me some other day.
And again my health is poor and it is necessary that the office should not be idle. And again I say, you know my passions and I am fearful that it will be worse for me by, and by; do so, if the Lord will have mercy on me, and let me remain a member in the church, and travel & preach, when I am able. do not think that I am your enemy, for what I have done. perhaps the inquiry may arise in your mind, why I do not rem[em]ber the many good deeds you have done for me; or if I do remember them, why it is that I should treat you so basely.— when I reflect upon the injuries I have done you, I must confess that I cannot account for my conduct. I feel truly sorry for what I have done and humbly ask your forgiveness. I have not confidence as yet, to come and see you, for I feel ashamed of what I have been doing; and as I feel now I feel as though all the confession that I could make verbally, or by writing, would not be sufficient to atone for my transgression. Be this as it may, I am willing to make all the restitution you shall require, if I can stay in the church as a member, I will try to make all the satisfaction I possibly can.
Yours with respect
P.S. do not cast me off, but strive to save me in the church as a member: I do heartily repent of what I have done to you, and ask your forgiveness.— I consider my transgression the other evening, of no small magnitude. But it is done and I cannot help it now— I know brother Joseph you are always willing to forgive; but I sometimes think when I reflect upon the many injuries I have done you [p. 156]
this they throw me into the hands of the church, and leave me where I was before I was chosen among the twelve.
Then I would not be in a situation to bring so much disgrace upon the casuse [cause], when I fell into temptations. And perhaps by this means I might obtain salvation. You know dear brother my passions and the danger of falling from so high a station: And therefore I chose to withdraw from the office of the Apostleship, while there is salvation for me, and remain a member in the church. I feel afraid if I do not, it will be worse for me some other day.
And again my health is poor and it is necessary that the office should not be idle. And again I say, you know my passions and I am fearful that it will be worse for me by, and by; do so, if the Lord will have mercy on me, and let me remain a member in the church, and travel & preach, when I am able. do not think that I am your enemy, for what I have done. perhaps the inquiry may arise in your mind, why I do not remember the many good deeds you have done for me; or if I do remember them, why it is that I should treat you so basely.— when I reflect upon the injuries I have done you, I must confess that I cannot account for my conduct. I feel truly sorry for what I have done and humbly ask your forgiveness. I have not confidence as yet, to come and see you, for I feel ashamed of what I have been doing; and as I feel now I feel as though all the confession that I could make verbally, or by writing, would not be sufficient to atone for my transgression. Be this as it may, I am willing to make all the restitution you shall require, if I can stay in the church as a member, I will try to make all the satisfaction I possibly can.
Yours with respect
P.S. do not cast me off, but strive to save me in the church as a member: I do heartily repent of what I have done to you, and ask your forgiveness.— I consider my transgression the other evening, of no small magnitude. But it is done and I cannot help it now— I know brother Joseph you are always willing to forgive; but I sometimes think when I reflect upon the many injuries I have done you [p. 156]
Page 156