History, 1838–1856, volume B-1 [1 September 1834–2 November 1838]

  • Source Note
  • Historical Introduction
Page 667
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<​December 18.​> read a letter that he received from in which he asked forgiveness for the abuse he offered to him, at the debate. He tarried most of the forenoon, and conversed freely with me upon the subject of the difficulty existing between me and ; he said that he was perfectly satisfied, with the course I had taken in rebuking him in his wickedness, but he is wounded, to the very soul because of the conduct of ; and although he feels the tender feelings of a brother towards him yet he can but look upon his conduct as an abomination in the sight of God; and I could pray in my heart that all my brethren were like unto my beloved brother , who possesses the mildness of a lamb and the integrity of a Job and in short the meekness and humility of Christ. And I love him with that love that is stronger than death; for I never had occasion to rebuke him. nor he me, which he declared when he left me to day.— This day received this following Letter from Bro .
<​Letter from ​> “Brother Joseph, Though I do not know but I have forfeited all right [HC 2:338] and title to the word brother, in consequence of what I have done. for I consider myself that I am unworthy to be called one, after coming to myself and considering upon what I have done I feel as though it was a duty to make a humble confession to you for what I have done, or what took place the other night evening, but leave this part of the subject at present. I was called to an account by the twelve yesterday for my conduct; or they desired to know my mind, or determination, and what I was going to do. I told them that on reflection upon the many difficulties that I had had with the church and the much disgrace I had brought upon myself in consequence of these things, and also that my health would not permit me to go to school to make any preparations for the endowment, and that my health was such that I was not able to travel, that It would be better for them to appoint one in the office that would be better able to fill it, and by doing this they would throw me into the hands of the church, and leave me where I was before I was chosen. Then I would not be in a situation to bring so much disgrace upon the cause, when I fall into temptation and perhaps by this I might obtain salvation. You know my passions, and the danger of falling from so high a station, and thus by withdrawing from the office of the apostleship, while there is salvation for me, and remaining a member in the church: I feel afraid if if I don’t do this it will be the worse for me some other day. And again my health is poor, and I am not able to travel, and it is necessary the office should not be idle; and again I say you know my passions, and I am afraid it will be worse for me, by and by. do so if the Lord will have mercy on me and let me remain as a member in the church. and then I can travel and preach when I am able. Do not think that I am your enemy for what I have done. Perhaps [p. 667]
December 18. read a letter that he received from in which he asked forgiveness for the abuse he offered to him, at the debate. He tarried most of the forenoon, and conversed freely with me upon the subject of the difficulty existing between me and ; he said that he was perfectly satisfied, with the course I had taken in rebuking him in his wickedness, but he is wounded, to the very soul because of the conduct of ; and although he feels the tender feelings of a brother towards him yet he can but look upon his conduct as an abomination in the sight of God; and I could pray in my heart that all my brethren were like unto my beloved brother , who possesses the mildness of a lamb and the integrity of a Job and in short the meekness and humility of Christ. And I love him with that love that is stronger than death; for I never had occasion to rebuke him. nor he me, which he declared when he left me to day.— This day received this following Letter from Bro .
Letter from “Brother Joseph, Though I do not know but I have forfeited all right [HC 2:338] and title to the word brother, in consequence of what I have done. for I consider myself that I am unworthy to be called one, after coming to myself and considering upon what I have done I feel as though it was a duty to make a humble confession to you for what I have done, or what took place the other evening, but leave this part of the subject at present. I was called to an account by the twelve yesterday for my conduct; or they desired to know my mind, or determination, and what I was going to do. I told them that on reflection upon the many difficulties that I had had with the church and the much disgrace I had brought upon myself in consequence of these things, and also that my health would not permit me to go to school to make any preparations for the endowment, and that my health was such that I was not able to travel, that It would be better for them to appoint one in the office that would be better able to fill it, and by doing this they would throw me into the hands of the church, and leave me where I was before I was chosen. Then I would not be in a situation to bring so much disgrace upon the cause, when I fall into temptation and perhaps by this I might obtain salvation. You know my passions, and the danger of falling from so high a station, and thus by withdrawing from the office of the apostleship, while there is salvation for me, and remaining a member in the church: I feel afraid if I don’t do this it will be the worse for me some other day. And again my health is poor, and I am not able to travel, and it is necessary the office should not be idle; and again I say you know my passions, and I am afraid it will be worse for me, by and by. do so if the Lord will have mercy on me and let me remain as a member in the church. and then I can travel and preach when I am able. Do not think that I am your enemy for what I have done. Perhaps [p. 667]
Page 667